


Starlight through the Fog

by orphan_account



Category: The Dark Crystal (1982), The Dark Crystal: Age of Resistance (TV)
Genre: Alcohol, Angst, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Angst with a Happy Ending, Canon Compliant, Comfort/Angst, Confessions, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Fluff and Angst, Fluff and Hurt/Comfort, Hurt/Comfort, Love Confessions, Post-Canon, Stonegrot - Freeform, Teasing, drunk gelflings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-07
Updated: 2019-10-07
Packaged: 2020-11-27 02:01:08
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,749
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20940443
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: Plagued by his doubts for the future and the memory of those he's lost, Rian leaves the warmth of the cozy barroom and heads out into the night. While there he finds comfort and understanding from someone he never thought possible. And maybe he can help her with her demons too...Angst, hurt/comfort, and just a hint of fluff. :)





	Starlight through the Fog

Raucous cheers rang out through the barroom as Gurjin downed the last of his mug and helt it aloft in victory. He'd just narrowly beaten his sister Naia in a contest of who could down their mug of ale the fastest and the whole room cheered to his victory as his sister grimaced in defeat. Today they had won a victory against the skeksis' latest perversions: the garthim. Their small caravan of gelfling had been traveling through the forest on their way back to H'rar when they'd screams of help and rushed to aid them. A handful of garthim had cornered the frightened owner of this very bar as well as his wife and daughters. They'd lept into action to attack the beasts with everything they had. Although there were only a few garthim the devils were incredibly strong. And they always fought with a soulless viciousness to fulfill their master's orders. It took a great effort and strength on their own part to defeat them. Rian had delivered the killing blow to the last one standing himself. The repulsive stench of it's innards still faintly lingered on his sword even after he'd cleaned the blade. 

The port little gelfling they rescued had thanked them heartily for saving himself and his family. In a show of gratitude he invited them all back to his bar to help themselves to as much of his ale as they liked, free of charge. Brea had thanked him for his generosity but was anxious to be home, and insisted that they had to be going. But the gelfing and his family were insistent that it was the least they could do. And the other gelfling who were starved for fun after so long away at war had worn Brea down until she finally relented. She reasoned that since it was getting late already they could set up camp for the night nearby. And it might do them all well to have a night of enjoyment. But she set the condition that everyone must pay for their drinks. The port little gelfling had countered with half price and it was all settled. 

The bar was a quaint, cozy little place. Sparsely decorated and showing signs of age but homey and warm just the same. It’s curved walls provided perfect acoustics for the podling band’s jaunty tunes. Kylan had almost immediately sat down to join them with his flute. Brea had warmed up to the idea of spending the evening here after her initial reluctance. Her curious spirit was piqued having never before been in a place like this. She’d never tasted ale before either, as her mother had never allowed her to have it. Before Gurjin and Naia became embroiled in their drinking battle they’d teased her about how the "dainty little princess" was probably a lightweight. Brea had puffed up in defiance at that and insisted that she hold her liqour just fine. As evidenced by the fact that she was now dancing with the grace of an intoxicated landstrider after only a single round: She could not. 

Rian chuckled to himself as he watched his friends enjoy themselves. He sat by himself at a quiet table tucked away near the front of the bar nursing his own half-drunk mug of ale. The taste was robust and sweet with a bitter twinge as it went down. It was a bit weaker and more watered down than he would've preferred, but such luxuries as alcohol were scarce these days. And beggars certainly couldn't be choosers, especially since the owner was being so generous with what he had. It wasn't all bad though, in fact it reminded him of the one he'd shared with his father once. 

One trine just after he’d come of age his father had taken him along on a trip to Stone-in-the-Wood on castle business. They’d stopped to stay the night in an inn which had a bar in the main room. His father brought him up to the counter and ordered two mugs of ale. Rian stared at him wide-eyed and confused when his father raised a steady hand and explained himself. He said that Since Rian was of age now, and since had been working hard at his duties in the castle, he supposed that he’d earned his first taste of ale. When the bartender brought them out his father extended his mug to Rian in an invitation of cheers. Rian quickly accepted it and his father chuckled as Rian took a greedy gulp of his. He would always remember the look in his father’s normally stonelike face that night. It was warm and tender, and his eyes sparkled with something almost like pride. 

...Truth be told however that was not his first taste of alcohol. Far from it actually. His fellow castle guards would sometimes smuggle in a keg for themselves when they made supply deliveries. After their duties were done they would all gather round in quiet, unused corners of the castle and crack it open. They filled their tin cups and knocked them together in cheers as they laughed and jested the night away. The potential of being caught made it all the more thrilling. They often played drinking games and held competitions like the one Gurjin and Naia were just embroiled in. Rian had always been able to hold his own in them Although he was never a match for Mira. She could drink him under the table-along with anyone else in the castle.  
He smirked when he remembered how hungover they were the next day and how tough it had been to do his duties with his head pounding and his stomach in knots. He remembered one occasion when Mira hadn't even brushed her hair when she’d shown up late to her post. It was unbraided and plastered against her helmet in mats. He pointed it out to her and she gave him a firm punch to the ribs before she burst into laughter at what a state they were both in. Mira was like that. She could find humor in any situation-even the inappropriate ones. He felt his heart ache as his thoughts fixated on her. His Mira, who loved pranks and laughter. Mira who had a zeal for life and loved with her whole heart ...Mira who had been killed by the very beings she’d sworn her life to protect. drained for her essence and consumed savagely like a field of starving gobbles.... His blood ran cold as he heard her last, desperate cries for help echo in his mind. 

His father was gone now too. And all his old friends from the castle guard. Brave, good gelfling he’d grown up with, trained with, been brothers and sisters in service with. He saw them all so clearly as he remembered each of their names. Their faces. Their smiles. Their laughter. Gone. Every last one of them. Drained and drank savagely with no remorse. The sweet taste of the ale turned to ash in his mouth and he felt sick as it hit his stomach. He looked around the room now at all those who remained laughing and smiling as they’d all used to do all those trine ago. Already now it was smaller than when their resistance had begun. He broke into a cold sweat as he wondered many more faces here would know the sting of the sword or the terror of draining? For How many would this be their final drink?

The whole room seemed to spin as these evil thoughts clouded over him, consuming his mind like wildfire. In the midst of the fog he tried to steel himself, He had to get a grip before he broke down right here in the bar. Abruptly He pushed his mug away and stood from the table. He needed to get some air. He set a coin down to pay for his drink and went to the retrieve his cloak from where it on the wall among all the others. He had it fastened about his body and began to head towards the little door when Gurjin saw him from the corner of his eye and approached him. “Oi Rian! You’re not leaving already are you? The nights still young!” 

Rian spoke with his back still turned to him, “It’s been a long day, and I’m tired.” 

“But You haven’t even finished your first round! Come on, I’ll get us both fresh ones before the girls have it all. My treat” He hung his arm on Rian’s shoulders to draw him back, but Rian ducked out of his friendly embrace.

“No thank you Gurjin.” He said through gritted teeth as he bee-lined towards the door. 

Gurjin scoffed, “What’s the matter, are you turning lightweight on me?”

Rian paused with his hand on the doorknob,“I don’t have the taste for  
Ale tonight I’m afraid.”

“That doesn’t sound like you! What’s gotten into you Rian?”

“...I wish I knew.”

Gurjin paused, taken aback and softened his tone with his next question,“Rian...are you alright?”

“Of course I’m all right why wouldn’t I be?”

Gurjin crossed his arms, “I don’t know, you tell me.”

Rian spun around on his heel and cried out in frustration,“If I say I’m fine, then I’m fine. “Thra! you don’t have to fret over me like a helpless childling!” Gurjin blinked and took a step back. Rian was shocked himself at his outburst. He muttered curses under his breath at his lack of control. He had so few friends left now, and it wouldn’t do to alienate the one of the best ones he had. 

“Rian I didn’t mean anything by that I just-“

“No, Gurjin I’m sorry.” He cut him off and forced himself to meet Gurjin’s eyes in a show of sincerity, “I’m just...not feeling well tonight. I think it's best if I head back.”

Gurjin nodded slowly and Rian shifted in his boots as he felt Gurjin's eyes rake him up and down. He could tell that Gurjin suspected something deeper was troubling him, but was grateful that he chose not press it. “All right Rian, whatever you say. Get back safe.” 

Rian nodded gratefully. “Thank you Gurjin.” He opened the door of the bar and stepped out alone into the deep blue night.

The night was clear and cloudless and the moon and stars shone bright in all their glory. The air was warm and the faintest bit muggy, but it was drowned out by the cool touch of the shifting breeze. He closed his eyes and breathed it in deeply. He felt his feet rooted firmly on the dry soil and forced his mind to slow as he breathed in the crisp night air of Thra. In and out. In...and out. Once he felt a little calmer, he took a step forwards and started back towards their camp to rest for the night. He made it only a few steps before a curious little sound made the tips of his long ears perk up. He glanced in the direction it can from and stopped in his tracks as his eyes found the source. A few yards from the bustling bar, lay a little pond, dark and calm. It’s edges were crowded by clusters of reeds and butted up against by rocks and it's placid surface reflected the stars like a sheet of glass. At the edge of the water perched on a flat rock sat Deet. She hummed along to the muffled music that carried out from the bar, kicking her feet in time to the jaunty tune as she dangled them over the water's edge.

He smiled to himself as he admired the pretty sight. He was always glad to see Deet happy after everything she'd been through. When they had found her after she’d fled from the first battle at Stone-in-the-Wood Mother Aughra had used the power of the crystal shard to seal the darkening away inside her. But though she was by all accounts well now, Deet had been uncharacteristically distant since her return. She kept to herself During the evenings and went out of her way to eat alone at meal times. He noticed too that she was especially jumpy and and flinched when others would touch her-either by accident or in gestures of friendly affection. Rian had longed to take her aside and pick up where he'd left off before she disappeared and tell her just how he really felt but she always had some excuse, some reason to duck away and hide from him. He had decided that it was obviously because she didn’t return his affection and was trying to spare his feelings. He felt a numb pain in his heart at the realization of this bitter truth. He knew that he had to respect her feelings and let her alone if that was what she truly wanted. and yet...it was so difficult. Her long absence had only made his affections grow stronger. And he could no longer deny his feelings for her to himself as he once had.

He shifted in his stance and took a step back. A twig snapped beneath his feet and they both jumped at the sudden noise. She spun around to see what had made the sound and relief spread over her face when she saw it was only him. “Oh Rian! I didn’t hear you coming.” She said. Her face looked radiant in the shining moonlight. “Are you going back already?” 

Rian smiled softly at her. “It was getting a bit stuffy in there. I was just out for some air."

she nodded in understanding. "It is a lovely night."

"Yes it is." he said. His eyes locked on her lithe form, "Mind if I join you there?"

she blinked and fidgeted in her seat, "Oh... no of course not. Here." She scooted over and patted the rock next to her beckoning him to sit down.

"Thank you." he said gratefully. 

“How was it in there? Was everyone having a good time?” She asked him as he settled next to her

He chuckled, “I'd say so. bit too good if you ask me."

"Oh dear, They're already that bad?"

"Not all of them no," He shrugged before adding, "You should've seen Brea though! Poor girl’s as lightweight as they come, She’s already dancing up a storm. We'll be lucky if we head out before mid-afternoon tomorrow with the state she's like to be in."

She giggled, "poor Brea! I know I shouldn’t laugh... but I can't help it. ”

He laughed then too. She peppered him with more questions about their other friends, how the bar was like inside, and how the ale tasted. She asked them with a keen eagerness which made him wonder why she had chosen not to go herself. It seemed obvious by her enthusiasm that she wished she were there. But he decided not to press her on it and answered everything she asked in great detail. Besides, He didn’t mind her questions at all. He always found it easy to talk to her and he could listen to her sweet voice for hours. Eventually their conversation trailed off into silence and they sat together as they observed the beautiful pond; listening to the croaking of frogs and the string of muffled tunes from the bar. It was Deet who broke the silence,"The stars are stunning tonight." she said spreading her arms ou wide, "Can you believe that last trine I didn't even know what a star was? I'd never even seen the sky before And now...” she looked up, “now I can't imagine life without them." Her deep brown eyes twinkled, full of wonder.

He smiled at her, "why Deet, you surprise me! Sounds to me like you've become a regular sky baby."

She scrunched up her nose indignantly, "am not!" 

"I don't know, you just said you can't live without the stars. And you even stayed out here by yourself to watch them rather than join the others. Sounds like a sky baby to me." 

She fidgeted in her seat, "Just because I'd rather be outside on a lovely night than cooped up indoors doesn't make me a sky baby..." She crossed her arms defiantly, "and besides, I don't have much of a taste for your daylighter's ale anyways. I tried it once and I much prefer the stuff we brew in Grot."

He shrugged, "whatever you say."

"What about you though? Why are you out here tonight instead of with the others?" 

His smile faded as the reminder of what had driven him out came flooding back in. The dark fog beginning to set in on his mind again. "As I said I just wanted some air...and I don't think I have much of a taste for ale anymore either..."He trailed off into silence as he stared at the pond. 

Sensing the shift in his mood She turned to face him "...Rian is something troubling you?" 

"N-no of course not." he lied, turning his face away and trying to keep his voice steady, “Why would anything be wrong?”

She didn’t buy it, "Something is troubling you, what is it?" He shifted nervously, debating what to do. she had enough worries of her own these days- Thra knew everyone did. She certainly didn't need to be burdened any further by his own troubles. "Rian..." something in her gentle tone made him look up to meet her eyes. They were wide and pleading. "Tell me. Please.”

He swallowed hard and before he knew it he was talking. He told her everything. About his doubts on the war, the friends that he missed, and his worries for the future. She nodded along in silent understanding as he poured his heart out to her. He had no idea why it was so easy to speak to her about such troubling things. Or why something her very presence made him feel so comfortable and safe. He Tried to keep his voice steady while he choked back tears.“-and everyone is counting on me to save them, but I don’t know if I can! How can I? I couldn't save Mira or even my own father...” his voice cracked towards the end and he turned his head away.

“Rian that’s enough!” She cut him off "You can't blame yourself for what's happened. It's not your fault. It was never your fault!" He felt her inch closer towards him, but he was too ashamed to meet her face. "I know how much of a toll this war has taken on you. Thra knows you’ve lost far more to it than anyone should ever have to... But you’ve done everything you can! No one could’ve possibly done a better job as a leader. And I know that nothing I could say will ever bring back those we've lost but..." she paused and fiddled with the hem of her dress, "do you remember what you said to me that day at stone-in-the-wood?" 

Surprised, he brought his eyes up to meet hers and nodded slowly. “I remember you said that nothing will ever be the way it was again." 

She inched closer to him still, her body almost touching his now, "Yes. And you said...It will be better." her voice rose in hope, "and it will be Rian, oh I know it will! Because..." She paused and stared down at his hands. slowly, hesitantly she dared to reach out and lay one of hers on top of his. It was warm and soft, and he could have sworn he felt it shaking, "Because before we didn't have eachother..." She looked flustered for a moment before quickly adding, "...that is-we didn't have the resistance I mean. And gelfing are always stronger when we come together as one. After all you said it yourself." 

He sat there for a moment and marveled at her, completely amazed at how easily she could clear the fog that threatened to consume him "I suppose I did say that." he managed to breathe out. He let out a little laugh and reached a hand up to wipe his eyes, "Thank you for reminding me Deet."

She nodded "That's right, you did. so listen to yourself! There’s no sense in fretting about things that may never come to pass! We may not know what tomorrow will bring but...tonight everything is all right.“ she waved her arm in a broad gesture “And it’s such a lovely night, isn't it?" she stared back at him, her deep brown eyes sparkling with the light of stars she admired so much. He gulped as he got lost in them.

yes... and so are you...

she blinked and her face suddenly flushed crimson The realization soon dawned on him...oh Thra did he just say that out loud?!? The hue of His own face soon matched hers and she yanked her hand away from his as if it were a hot stove and brought it to fidget with her dress again. "Rian I.."

He cut her off "No Deet I'm sorry. I-I didn't mean to I just...” he gulped. Well, he thought. He’d already gone and mucked everything up. Best just get it all out in the open while he was on a roll. He took a deep breath and blurted it out, “I have feelings for you..." her mouth fell open at his confession and her blush deepened. He rubbed at his shoulder still stumbling over his words, "and I know that you don't feel the same way about me but I-"

Her head snapped up and her eyes widened, "Oh Rian no! it's not that!" 

That was not what he had expected to hear. He jerked back in surprise, "Wait... it's not?" 

She shook her head vigorously, "No...oh Thra no! Of course not!”

He reeled at the thought of what it was she was implying, the gears of his mind struggling to keep up with this fantastic revelation, "then you mean- you feel... that is...y-you...like..." he sputtered out, pointing at himself as he mouthed the last word word, "me?"

Her blush deepened and her ears tucked back shyly. "Of...of course I do." she blurted out, "I have for a while now. How could I help it? You're so brave and handsome and kind...oh you've always been so kind. Especially to me..." a dreamy little smile was spread over her face as she gushed about him. She looked relieved when she was done, as if she'd been holding those words in for far too long.

He reeled back as the realization of her sudden confession hit him with full force. She just said she likes me...She feels the same way... A wave of sudden giddiness swept over him. and he felt a sense of weightless as if he were floating. But his brow furrowed in confusion as another thought occurred to him, "But if you've felt the same way as me then why-“

"-have I been so distant?" she finished for him. He nodded. "Oh Rian don't you see? You know about the darkening- you saw me. How I was...what I did. what I'm capable of doing..." she curled inwards on herself, "I know Mother Auhgra sealed it away within me but...it's still there. I can feel inside me, lying under the surface dormant...waiting." she shuddered, "What if it broke loose somehow and I lost control again? I could hurt people Rian! I could hurt you or worse and if I did..." her voice quavered and she sprang up to her feet, turning away from him. She wrapped her arms wrapped around her body like a cage and clamped them down tightly. "I... I can't risk that. Please Rian you have to understand."

Suddenly it all made perfect sense. She avoided him not because she didn't return his feelings, but because she didn't want to hurt him. Feeling a sense of resolve harden in his belly, he knew what he had to do. Slowly, he rose to his feet keeping his eyes locked tightly on her back. He chose his next words slowly and delicately, "Deet..” he said softly, “You could never hurt anyone.” 

"You don't know that."

"But I do," he stepped closer to her, "because I know you Deet. I know your spirit and how kind and sweet you are. I've seen how deeply you love our world and how gentle you are with every single one of Thra’s creatures-no matter how many teeth." he added with a laugh, "I’ve seen you risk your life and limb to save them all-to save all of us. And you could never hurt any of them-not even if you tried. You could never hurt me...” he was close enough to reach out and touch her now.,"because It's just not in your nature... You're too good." 

The death grip on her arms began to loosen, "but...the darkening-"

"Is safely sealed away.” He finished for her, “And even if it did find a way out, it would be no match for you. You can be quite stubborn when you want to be, you know." She made a little snort that was almost a laugh. His heart jumped with excitement as her walls became to come down.

She turned her head to look at him from over her shoulder, loose strands of her blonde hair fluttering down her back, "...You really think so?"

He nodded, "I know so! And besides..." he stepped around her so that they were now face to face again, "Tonight is too lovely to waste fretting about something that may never come to pass... after all you said it yourself."

She blinked and a stunned little smile spread over her face, "...I suppose I did say that." she giggled softly and reached a lithe little hand up to wipe at her eyes. As her hand lay on her cheek he reached up to place his own on top of hers. She didn’t shrink away from his touch this time. He gazed at her longingly, his heart full of admiration and she raised her eyes to meet his. They were vast and captivating, reflecting the sky like hand crafted glass. He suddenly found that he understood what had driven Mother Aughra to wander for so long among the stars. He could spend an eternity looking into these eyes and not even know a moment had passed. He wasn’t sure when it had started, or whether it was he or she who had made this first move, but he found himself being drawn in closer to her. He felt his pulse quicken and his heartbeat pound in his ears as the distance them gradually began to close. His hands were shaking now too, how strange. He'd killed a garthim earlier and managed to keep them steady. She was close enough now for him to feel her hot breath on his lips. Any closer and they would be touching. He closed his eyes and....

"Whooooooo!"

They both jolted back as a rowdy cheer emanated from the bar. Strange, with all that had happened Rian had forgotten that it was even there. They both shifted about, a little embarrassed from being interrupted, both of their faces were flushed from their close contact. He felt a little embarrassed and unsure just what to do when a thought occurred to him and he started in slowly, "...say Deet?" 

She hummed in response.

"What's say we go back inside and join the others now? The night’s still young and There might still be some ale left for us."

She perked her ears up and softly smiled, "...Yes, that sounds nice."

"All right then..." he slowly reached out to recapture her hand with his own and gave it a firm squeeze. He felt her relax in his touch as she interlaced her fingers with his own. "Shall we go?"

She stared down at their joined hands. Bliss was on her face along with a soft, content smile. “Yes, let’s.”

He smiled. And they walked back into the warmth of the bar hand-in-hand. While it was true, Rian didn't know what tomorrow would hold or where the future would lead him he did know one thing. And he knew it with more certainty than he'd ever felt in his life: Tomorrow was going to be better. And it had started tonight.

**Author's Note:**

> Welp, I spent entirely too long on this. Hope y'all enjoy. C&C welcome and appreciated. happy shipping! :)


End file.
